


Evan Hansen And The Struggles Of Friendship

by FallingInAForest



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: But is working on it, Connor gets angry, Connor super hates Jared, Evan did not have a crush on zoe prior to this fic, F/M, He didnt even know her, Heidi? Good mom, Jared super hates Connor, M/M, Something Happened In The Past Changing The Events, Zoe Murphy is Gr8
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-10 05:17:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13495704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingInAForest/pseuds/FallingInAForest
Summary: Evan Hansen has a goal: to make friends. But sometimes it's not that easy, especially when two candidates hate eachothers guts for reasons unknown to him. And then there's Zoe, who he didn't even know, who decided to get to know him.





	Evan Hansen And The Struggles Of Friendship

**Author's Note:**

> I was in the middle of 3-4 chapters of other works, and then I decided to temporarily drop them all to write this. Sorry, not sorry. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this!

Evan Hansen woke up to the sound of his alarm clock, which made a generic ringing sound, on his first day of his senior year of high school.  
  
Exactly two minutes and two seconds later, his mother, Heidi Hansen entered the room, with a small plate and a bagel on top, "Good Morning, sweetie!"  
  
The voice brought him into the world of the awake, and he was no longer just in his head, "Morning, Mom," he quietly said, the gears beginning to turn in his brain.  
  
"I brought you breakfast," She said with a smile, holding the plate out to him. "Are you excited? Evan, it's your senior year! Isn't that cool? And you can ask everyone to sign your cast, right? That would be a good conversation topic."  
  
Evan knew his mother loved him, because she was always thinking of him, but somehow that made Evan feel worse, like he was a burden to her. Although, she seemed happy to imagine him happy, and if she was happy, Evan was as well, no matter the reason behind it.  
  
"T-thanks," Evan said in response, already slightly stuttering his words, so he didn't bother trying to answer all of her additional questions. When he was younger, his stutter was terrible, but as the years went by, it improved, even to the point where it only appeared during his most anxious of times. The only baggage that came with that was the fact that there almost wasn't a moment that Evan was feeling anxious about something. It was a second nature to him, after all.  
  
"Hey, Evan?" Heidi said, looking Evan in the eyes. "I'm proud of you."  
  
To that, Evan was surprised. This had come out of the blue, and sure, she would always say encouraging things like this, but pride was something special. Things like this made Evan feel that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't the burden that he always thought he was. Or maybe that was just his crazy talking.  
  
So Evan smiled in response, because there is no right way to acknowledge a comment of that sort, and after that, Heidi left him to his own devices. There, in his room, he ate his bagel, got dressed, and hummed a familiar rhythm.  
  
Afterwards, he finished readying himself for school, and even put his shoes and backpack on. While that seemed like a good use of time, there was a problem with this. Evan now had 20 minutes with nothing to do. He always woke up early like this, because he was super worried that one day he would forget to do something, or sleep in, or run late in general, so it was always safer to be prepared. Especially on his first day of the school year, because it would probably be really embarrassing to be late on the first day, and the other students would call him a snail or something of the sort.  
  
To waste his remaining time, he watched a few documentaries on how things were made, and was mesmirized by the comparison of the final product and the original appearance of them.  
  
Eventually, he had wasted all of his extra time, or at least his extra at home time, because he also arrived at school five minutes earlier than the doors opened, _just in case_. And when his extra time had been diminished, Heidi drove him to school.  
  
When they arrived, Evan ran into Jared Kleinman. Not literally of course, because Jared was always on alert. Jared was a particularly interesting person, who self-identified as insanely cool. The thing that made Jared ultra special, however, was that Jared was technically Evan's friend.  
  
Evan had moved here in the middle of sophomore year, and didn't know anybody except Jared, who for some reason had been nicer to Evan that year than any other year of his life, which was probably the only reason that Evan was allowed to even become this level of friend, which was family friend, meaning that Jared only talked to Evan because of car insurance and his mother's expectations.  
  
Sure, maybe Evan knew this, but that didn't mean it mattered to him. Looking at the facts, Jared wasn't a good friend to him, but it's not as if Evan had any other friends, so this was as good as he was going to get. Not that he was saying that he was merely settling for Jared-  
  
"Yo, what's up with your arm?" Jared asked as soon as he saw the cast on Evan's fragile arm.  
  
Instantly, Evan fidgeted and played with the zipper on his jacket, "Oh-oh, I-"  
  
"Whatever, nevermind, I don't care that much," Jared replied with a shrug. "I heard there's going to be a fight 7th hour-"  
  
Suddenly, Jared's sentence was cut off, seemingly by nothing, but as Evan traced his gazes whereabouts, he saw that they led to a tall, broody guy from across the hallway. Evan thought he had seen the boy before in passing in the halls but he couldn't quite put his finger on who the boy was.  
  
"Nice haircut, Connor. What is that, school shooter shiek?" Jared asked, with bitterness in his tone, but Evan couldn't put his finger on why.  
  
To that, the boy, who Evan assumed was Connor, walked over with a snarky glare, "I think it's more Jesus like."  
  
Evan fidgeted a little more as he watched this unroll, seeing as Jared rolled his eyes at Connor. He also noticed the tension between the two, as Evan could probably cut it with the safety scissors in his backpack because it was so obvious. Evan didn't know why Jared and Connor didn't get along, he hadn't even seen Jared and Connor talk since a couple months after Evan switched schools.  
  
"You wish," Jared scoffed. He was acting differently than usual, because Jared usually liked to keep things upbeat and spout about random things that made no sense, which he called memes.  
  
"Listen, Kleinman. I don't want you or your friend talking to me, okay?" Connor said, and did something that Evan would imagine as unthinkable: he pushed Evan. The force was hard and unexpected, and Evan's butt smacked the floor. With that, Connor was off, heading into the abyss of the hallways.  
  
Once Connor was no longer in Jared's view, he walked over to Evan and helped him up, "Sorry. That dude's such a freak."  
  
"I-I didn't think he was a freak," Evan said in response, fidgeting at the word _freak_ , because it was something that he always imagined others calling him.  
  
"Well you thought wrong," Jared said firmly, sticking to his beliefs like skin to a chair on a hot day. Needless to say, the eerie way Jared did so made Evan slightly uncomfortable.  
  
"Jared, w-would y-you mind signing m-my c-cast?" Evan asked, wanting the subject to change. It was a risky think to ask, because as Jared always reminded Evan, they weren't real friends.  
  
"Evan, Evan, Evan," Jared spoke with a sigh, shaking his head slightly as he did so. "You know the drill. That's a friend thing to do, and you and me aren't real friends, we're family friends. There's a difference."  
  
To that, Evan nodded without speaking back, his hands shaking slightly, which made him look at his hands, therefore forcing him to notice the fact that his palms were sweaty, which only made them more sweaty.  
  
"But," Jared interrupted Evan's thoughts, making him relax at the sign of one hopeful word. "We could be real friends. The only thing you've got to do is ruin Connor Murphy's week."  
  
In response, Evan's eyes widened. Jared had never offered a way for Evan to become his friend before. Evan knew he was being faced with a once in a lifetime opportunity that he couldn't pass up. Although, he felt bad that he had to accept it because he didn't know anything about Connor. Connor could be a good person, who didn't deserve a bad week for all Evan knew.  
  
"O-okay," Evan nodded, letting a small, hesitant smile appear on his face. He could do this.  
  
"Welcome to the team," Jared said in advance, almost in a taunting way, which made Evan know that failing wasn't an option for this particular task. The beef between the two was long-lasting as it seemed. Little did Jared or Evan know was that because of Connor's mother's new fad, Connor Murphy was a vegetarian and he wasn't fucking scared of them.  
  
-O-  
  
"Hey! Evan, right?" A girl said, walking up to him.  
  
"U-uh, yeah," Evan said, nodding his head, unaware of who stood in front of him. He recognized her slightly, but couldn't put a finger on who she was.  
  
"I'm sorry my brother pushed you earlier. He can be a total dick sometimes," She said, slightly laughing at the end of her statement, before extending her hand towards Evan. "I'm Zoe Murphy."  
  
To that, Evan didn't want to make things even more awkward by not shaking her hand, so he extended his as well, and they shook hands for about half a second, before their hands returned to their sides and Evan smiled. Her hands were incredibly soft, which made Evan wonder if she used lotion, and if she did, what kind. But her hands weren't even the most mesmerizing part of her, her eyes were. They sparkled like the stars in the sky, and her smile almost matched that effect, shining bright like the Sun.  
  
"I-it wasn't a b-big deal, s-sorry," Evan forced the words out, making himself snap back into the real world, where eyes were simply eyes and smiles were just smiles.  
  
"Damn," She said to herself after Evan's response. "He always attacks the decent ones."  
  
That was a start, at least, right? She thought he was decent.  
  
"So Evan, what are your classes? Most of my friends aren't taking the same classes as me, so I guess I need as many acquaintances as possible," Zoe said, slightly laughing again and Evan couldn't help but notice that he heard a shred of nervousness in her voice, which made him relax, because it showed that she wasn't a perfect person, but a person who he had a chance of becoming friends with.  
  
"I-I have Zoology first hour," Evan said quickly, fidgeting a little bit. He didn't know why he was nervous, as things had been going so well so far, but he couldn't help but to wonder how he could manage to mess things up.  
  
"Wait, really?" Zoe replied, looking at her schedule on her phone. "Me too. We should walk there together."  
  
"Y-yeah, okay," Evan nodded, agreeing. They even ended up siting next to each other when they got there.  
  
Zoe talked to Evan a lot during the hour, and even asked him about his cast and how he broke his arm. She told him about how she was in jazz band, and what her favorite song was, and everything else she could think of. Evan couldn't help but to wish that even just for a moment, his anxiety would melt away so he could tell her things about himself as well, more than just what was at his surface. But of course, he had to worry, and think that she wouldn't care anyway.  
  
During class, the teacher reviewed the syllabus, as most teachers did on the first day of school. Evan noticed her start to doodle stars on the cuffs of her jeans once she got bored of it, and how she hummed to herself occasionally. Maybe some kids would get annoyed by things like that, but Evan thought that the sound of her humming was calming, so much so that for once in his life when he was sitting at his desk, he didn't shake his leg. Evan could see himself being friends with Zoe, but then the thought of Connor being her brother made him question everything.  
  
-O-  
  
At the end of the school day, Evan entered the computer lab, and his phone ringed. It was his mom, calling to ask how his day was and to remind him of the therapist-assigned letter he had to write.  
  
"Yeah, mom, I know. I'm in the computer lab printing it out now," Evan said, as he began writing his.  
  
However, when he was finished, about to press print, he saw the notorious Connor Murphy walk into the computer lab.  
  
Instantly, his heart raced and his hands became sweaty. Silently, he made a slight alteration to his letter. He was very nervous about it, because if Zoe and Connor were close, what he wrote could ruin Evan and Zoe's friendship before it even got a chance to start.  
  
But then he thought about Jared, and how they could finally become friends if he did this, so without a second thought, he hit print.  
  
A little while after, Connor came sauntering over to him, holding the paper in his hands. "How'd you break your arm?" Connor asked, obviously stalling a little bit, which made Evan's heart race.  
  
"O-oh, I uh, I fell. Out of a tree," Evan said quickly, scratching at the top of his cast. Every time his arm was mentioned, it itched, and Evan wanted to be able to rip it right off, but he had been the one to break his arm in the first place.  
  
"How the fuck did you fall out of a tree?" Connor says, and even though his tone was harsh, it didn't scare Evan, because Evan could tell that he made it harsh on purpose, as if he felt like he was supposed to.  
  
"I-it's a long story, a-actually." Evan began, finding new ways to fidget in this spot, to the point where he assumed he was annoying Connor, because who wouldn't be annoyed by a kid in a computer lab who was so anxious he was practically flailing around like a fish out of water?  
  
"I've got time," Connor said, checking an invisible watch. "I wouldn't ask a question if I didn't want to know, dumbass."  
  
That was when Evan flinched. He could usually deal with cuss words, but when they were directed at him there was a different effect. "S-sorry."  
  
Maybe because of Evan's apology or because of the fact that he flinched, Connor tilted his head, almost as if he were concerned, but that would be crazy, right? Especially because Connor was Connor Murphy, the person who Jared apparently hated most.  
  
"T-there isn't much of a story, really. I-I just climbed up a tree, until I was so high up that the Sun was shining down on me, a-and then a branch broke, so I fell and broke my arm," Evan said.  
  
There was a slight pause, before Connor blandly said, "That is just the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard. Most people pretend that they were mauled by a bear or something."  
  
"S-sorry," Evan replied, looking down.  
  
"Relax, kid. It was supposed to be a joke," Connor said in response to Evan's actions, and then shifted uncomfortably. Apparently Evan Hansen wasn't the only one who did that.  
  
To that, Evan allowed himself to give a small smile, because Connor wasn't trying to be a jerk after all, and in a way, Connor reminded Evan of himself, even if they were completely different people.  
  
Seeing that Evan smiled, Connor gave a small smile of his own, "Nobody's signed your cast."  
  
Instantly, Evan tensed again, his brain forming theories that this was going to be Connor's way of humiliating him, or somehow the situation would go bad. "Y-yeah, I guess I haven't really asked anyone to."  
  
"I could sign it. Do you have a Sharpie?" Connor asked, trying to look as though he didn't care, but it wasn't working very well.  
  
"R-really?" Evan asked instantly, his only thoughts being the equivalent of exclamation marks that he couldn't decipher.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Whatever, right? Might as well," Connor replied with a shrug, but once again Evan could tell that the shrug was only halfhearted.  
  
After Evan handed Connor a Sharpie, he signed his name largely on the cast with his free hand, and then capped it, "Maybe now we can pretend we have friends."  
  
Evan didn't say anything in response, he just stood there, looking at the name on his cast, looking for some meaning behind the large letters. But they were meaningless strokes of black ink, Evan knew that. Sometimes he just wished that in the real world things were hinted at as they are in literature.  
  
Connor almost walked away, but then remembered the content in his hands. Turning back to Evan, Connor held out the paper to Evan, "Oh, by the way I'm pretty sure this is yours. It has your name on it, so..."  
  
But before Evan can grab it, which he really did want to do, because now he had spoken to Connor, and he wasn't that bad and definitely wasn't bad enough to have a shitty week.  
  
"Because there's Zoe?" Connor said in response to a quick few words that he glimpsed at. Evan saw as his hand tensed around the paper, almost to the point where his knuckles turned white.  
  
"N-no, can I have it? Can I p-please get it back? I need it back!" Evan pleaded.  
  
"I get it. You wrote this letter with a bunch of creepy shit about my sister so I would see it and freak out, right?" Connor said, taking a deep breath, although that didn't seem to help much.  
  
"I-I'm s-sorry," Evan sputtered out, not even trying to deny the fact that he had included Zoe in the letter because of him.  
  
"God damn Evan, this is kind of pathetic. You don't even look like you're enjoying me flipping out," Connor replied, studying Evan and relaxing his grip on the paper. He was still holding it, but no longer as though his life depended on it. "So why'd you do it?"  
  
"I-I," Evan stuttered again, unable to put words to his explanation any longer, until the tides turned and the dam in his mind exploded so he couldn't hold back anymore. "W-well I-it all started when I m-moved here sophomore year, and I didn't know anyone b-but Jared, because our m-moms are friends, s-so he's the only one I've ever really talked to. I-I'm not really good at making f-friends, y'know? And so today w-when he and you were f-fighting, Jared said that i-if I h-helped him mess up your week then I could be his a-actual f-friend. S-so I agreed, b-but t-then I realized that y-you were actually p-pretty cool, and I d-didn't know what t-to do. P-please don't hate me, I'm sorry. I-I'm so s-sorry."  
  
After that, Connor stared at Evan for a long time, since he had no clue as to how he was supposed to reply to the abundance of information he was given. This made Evan feel like he was holding on to the edge of a cliff, either waiting to fall or waiting for someone to pull him up.  
  
"You think I'm pretty cool?" Connor said, handing him Evan the note and shifting his body slightly.  
  
Evan should have his worries melted away by this point, because he had the note again, which meant that Connor decided to let it go, but somehow Connor's reply scared Evan even more, because after all of the outcomes Evan could have thought out, that had definitely not been one of them.  
  
Taking initiative, since Evan looked too dazed to speak, Connor said, "Look. I get it, okay? You want to fit in and shit. And it's not your fault Jared's a shithead. If you really want to be his friend or whatever, then you can tell him you're fucking with me, but I swear to the devil below that if you actually fuck with me-"  
  
Evan cut Connor off, but not verbally. Instead, Evan hugged Connor, because Connor, even though he had his angsty issues, understood, "T-thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> So? What'd you think? Please tell me below!


End file.
